


secrets (the keeping and telling of)

by melonbutterfly



Series: That First Year [11]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secrets, TLC, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-26
Updated: 2012-03-26
Packaged: 2017-11-02 13:56:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/369731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something they learn in Current History affects Charles more than it should, and he doesn't even know how close to home it is for Erik.</p>
            </blockquote>





	secrets (the keeping and telling of)

Erik is frowning deeply when he sits down in the seat left empty for him, next to Charles, opposite from Moira. Assorted around them are Cain, Kitty and Andy, and all five of them look pale and vaguely sick. None of them are touching their food.

"What's going on?", Erik asks, sliding closer to Charles so their sides press together. Charles leans into him, but doesn't lose his absent, glassy-eyed expression; Erik gets more worried by the second.

"We…" Moira swallows. "We just had Current History."

Ah. That explains it, somewhat. Erik really is not sure he wants to know any more, wants to know what they could have learned that would bring this kind of expression onto all their faces. There's a reason he's doing independent study right now – why the school offered that option to him on their own account, so he won't have to sit in class while his childhood trauma is being discussed by his peers. He won't be going back to regular lessons until they're done with the current topic.

"We watched a documentary about the... about Liberation Day," Moira elaborates. "There was a lot of original footage and eyewitness accounts. I… a couple of us got sick."

"Me being one of them," Charles suddenly speaks up, voice weirdly monotone. He's still staring into nothing, eyes unseeing.

Moira winces. Erik has never seen Charles like this, and it scares him a little, worries him a lot. He wraps one arm around his boyfriend's shoulders and pulls him into his chest, throwing one leg over the bench so he can fit them together better, never mind that they look like they’re cuddling in the middle of the cafeteria right now. Charles goes along willingly, all but sagging into him, turning his head so his face is hidden at least a little in Erik's neck. He doesn't _look_ like he's breaking down, and he's keeping himself firmly in his head – something which he has been a little less careful about with Erik lately, so this sudden clamming up too is worrisome – but it's not hard to tell that he's very much not alright.

Erik suddenly gets a very bad suspicion. "Charles," he asks carefully, entwining his free hand with Charles' two. "Do you get telepathic feedback from videos?"

Someone at their table takes a sharp breath, but Erik doesn't look up, instead curls his fingers around Charles'. In a corner of his mind, he's replaying everything he remembers of Charles and videos, movies; Charles does have an eclectic taste, when he deigns to watch a movie to begin with. He had once explained that he didn't really like movies or television in general because the people didn't have thoughts he had to block, so to him it felt like watching puppets, not real people.

"Not telepathic, no," Charles replies slowly, carefully, after a long moment of silence. He's quiet for another minute, clearly thinking about how much to divulge. Nobody else says anything, and finally, Charles continues haltingly, "I do sometimes get a sort of… empathic feedback." Cain's immediate resulting cursing almost drones out what Charles says next, but he quickly subsides when Erik sends him a glare. "It's more of a general… sense, a very vague mix of feelings that I get, and it takes me a moment to realize that they're mine because there isn't an actual source in the traditional sense I'm used to, but it doesn't really happen often, or a lot. I haven't yet been able to determine a clear pattern, so I didn't bring it up."

"Okay." Erik takes that in for a moment, trying hard to keep emanating nothing but calm and gentleness. He can freak out later, when Charles is in a less fragile state of mind. "I think we should take the rest of the day off."

"What?" Charles abruptly sits up, and Erik is very gratified to see his expression a lot less vague, his eyes a lot less glassy now. "I can't, I still have classes! And so do you, for that matter!"

"Charles, you clearly are not in a state of mind to continue school today," Erik explains patiently.

"He's right," Cain quickly joins in before Charles can protest. "Mrs. Skinner told you to take the rest of the day off if you don't feel better anyway."

At that, Erik has to take a deep breath to keep himself calm. Clearly Charles had understated the magnitude of his reaction, if he had been to see the school nurse and she had offered for him to skip classes without being asked to.

"But I'm feeling a little better already," Charles argues meekly, twisting his and Erik's fingers subconsciously.

"Charles, _I'm_ not feeling better, and I wasn't the one getting an empathic feedback so strong it made me retch for ten minutes," Moira returns flatly. "Go home. Let Erik make you a hot chocolate and hug you a lot or something."

Charles chews on his lower lip for a moment. Then he turns to his brother. "You will let them know that I left?"

"Of course," Cain says, managing to sound both offended and dismissive. "I'll head straight to administration and sign the two of you out." Which technically isn’t allowed, they are supposed to do it themselves, but it will be alright, especially with Mrs. Skinner backing them up. Erik might not get off so easily – he doesn’t get allowances just because he’s Charles’ boyfriend – but he can worry about that later.

After that, Charles doesn't protest much anymore, which is another sign that he's feeling worse than he's letting on. He's docile and silent, let's Erik lead him out of the school and to Cain's car by his hand. When Erik asks where to, his place or Charles', he just shrugs, and so Erik drives him to Charles', figuring he'll be more comfortable in his own room. Sharon isn't back from work yet, so they have the house to themselves – not that they'll do much with it right now. Erik bundles Charles off into his bed and makes the hot chocolate Moira suggested before he gets into bed next to his boyfriend, sliding an arm around him.

They don't speak for a long time; Charles stays rather still, apart from methodically sipping from his hot chocolate. But eventually, he opens his mouth and says, "It was very bad."

Erik certainly does not need to be told that. "Yes," he agrees neutrally, putting his lips in Charles' floppy, chestnut hair.

"I mean, of course I knew before," Charles continues, voice still somewhat detached. "I just didn’t… I just didn't _know_."

He still doesn't, and god, Erik would move Heaven and Earth to keep it that way, do unspeakable things just so Charles will never have to know.

Charles doesn't say anything more after that and eventually dozes off, sagged into Erik's side and breathing into his shirt. Erik tries to not think things and instead wonders how and when to tell Charles. He had been vaguely planning on doing it soon when the change in subject in history had caught him completely off-guard, and now he doesn't feel like he can and have it not mean… a lot.

Which is ridiculous because of course it means a lot no matter how much Charles knows on the subject, but he had felt less inhibited about it when Charles had known less. Now he feels like he'll tell him and Charles will _know_. Even more than he had with the documentary. And Erik wants to never, ever be the reason for Charles to wear that expression on his face.

He just doesn't know how to prevent it.


End file.
